


Of All the Things She Ever Said

by Gelsey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gelsey/pseuds/Gelsey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, ‘might have been.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of All the Things She Ever Said

I watch her laugh, and she seems so happy. I can’t remember her looking at me with quite that smile or with that glint in her eye.

I remember her lazy smile as we lay in front of the fire, half naked and smelling like berry lotions. I remember the twinkle as our eyes met with a shared secret. But not this, never this happiness.

_You make me so happy._ I still hear those words from her lips. Not this happy, I think.

It hurts my heart, makes me want to double up with the sheer unrelenting agony of knowing she’ll never be mine again, and I’ll never have a chance to see if I could make her look like that.

“Millicent?”

I straighten my shoulders, paste on my happy face and turn toward Draco. I feel like my misery must be evident to the world, but my former housemate is fooled. 

_You’re so easy to read, for a Slytherin. I love that about you._

When did I become this good at pretending?

“How are you enjoying the party?” he asks, gesturing about the once-again grand ballroom of Malfoy Manor.

“It’s brilliant, as always,” I reply, and it’s sincere, for the decorations are perfect, as are the music, the atmosphere. _She’s_ brilliant as well, but it’s a brilliance that blinds painfully, a diamond scrapping against my soul.

_I can’t do this anymore, Millie. There’s no future for us._

_My parents want me to marry._

Draco looks gratified and a little proud. He’s come far in the years since school. 

_Draco is so good to me. Can you be happy for me, please?_

I wish I didn’t hate him sometimes.

She comes over, kisses Draco’s cheek. “Hi, Millie. I’m so glad you came.” Her smile is genuine—she is glad—but pain is hidden underneath. It makes me feel a little better that mine isn’t the only pain.

Of all the things she ever said to me, though, the one that hurts and helps the most is this: _I will always love you. You will always be my friend._

“Astoria.” Her name is ambrosia. We exchange a very proper hug and kiss on the cheek. She still smells like raspberries; I wonder if she still notices I smell like strawberries. “I’ve missed you. It’s so very good to see you,” I tell her. 

And it is. So very, very good.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an LDWS a long time ago.


End file.
